All love is based in God. God is Love. Pure, Perfect Love. All love is good, for God is Good. But, not all love "needs" God to exist. They are human loves. Normal, everyday, struck up by emotions and physical chemistry..."feelings". But, when these human loves tap into the Divine plan for Love, they become deep rooted and Eternal. And that is what God had, or has..rather..in mind when He gave us Love.

Philios Love is the first of the Four Loves the Greeks discovered, or named. Philios love is a simple love. A friendship type of love. It has its root in the social need of every human being. We are all born with an innate desire to be loved and accepted. God created us social animals, and we must have others around us to survive. Man was not made to exist alone. Note the Words of Holy Scripture:

"The Lord God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a suitable partner for him."
So the Lord God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and He brought them to the man to see what he would call them;
whatever the man called each of them would be its name.
The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none of them proved to be the suitable partner for man.

So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, He took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
The Lord God then built up into a woman the rib He had taken from the man. When He brought her to the man, the man said:

"This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
This one shall be called 'Woman', for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them shall become one body."

Gen 2: 18-24

So, from the very beginning, God intended that we be social beings. He knew it was not good for us to be alone, and He created woman. Adam and Eve became "one"...that is, they joined in matrimony and had sexual relations. The fruit of which was Cain and Abel. And the first family was formed. A family is a social structure. It needs all members to cooperate with each other for the good of the whole. Such, too, is society. Governments function for the good of the whole, not for the welfare of the individual. If there were no society, no forms of Government, there would be utter chaos, and hence the destruction of the human race. Man must band together in order to survive. Where does Philios fit in? Simple: Philios is the love that one has for a friend...or a common courtesy. It is the type of love that says "I need you in my life, so I will befriend you...you need me, so you can befriend me."

But, being a human love, it cannot last permanently. All things human must die. Philios is a selfish type of love. Often, it says: "I like you if you like me." Rarely, will Philios stand up and give one's life for the beloved. It takes a very deep friendship to do that, and it must advance from a mere "friendship", into a deeper love..which we will discuss on the pages that follow. In and of itself, Philios will not stand and battle. It will flee if danger arises and one senses immenent harm to oneself. Philios is usually a "what's in it for me?" type of love. It is self-centered, yet it is giving when it is to the benefit of the giver.

This type of love does not "need" God to sustain itself. It stems from normal human emotions and social needs. Yet, when combined with the other Three Loves, especially Agape, it becomes a bonding type of love. That is the "friendship" a man and a woman have for each other when they fall in love. It is the thread that allows a couple to become best friends...sharing, caring, giving. But it must be combined and cemented together with Agape, or else it will fail.

I am sure we have all experienced this love. Fleeting romances...whats in it for me....I love you if....and I am sure we have all had the mutual feeling of seeing that type of love or friendship die. Why?....Because the human element alone is not sufficient to bond a permanent unification. It takes more. And that is what the other three Loves do...they add to the quality...not the quantity...of Philios.

Storge Love



Have you ever seen a newborn animal? Weak, and clumsy. Literally dependent on the protection of the mother those first few crucial hours. Have you ever seen a new born baby? Again, weak, defenseless, totally dependent on the mother for survival and wellbeing. Maternal Bonds are made in those first few hours. The touching, caressing, holding, kissing of the newborn infant. Mother bonds to child, child bonds to mother. The child associates mother with safety and welfare. The mother associates the baby as one to be protected, nurtured, cared for, and loved. That is Storge Love.

Storge Love is an instinctual love. No one has to tell a new mother that she need protect and nurture her new born infant. It is automatic. Unlike Philios Love, Storge begins to "love" for the sake of loving. It is not as conditional as Philios love. A new mother loves her child simply because he or she is her child. But, Storge is self seeking to a degree. There are rewards involved in expressing and giving Storge Love, and mother and father soon learn them. Child, too, soon learns that if I do this, or do that..then I will be showered with more attention. Mom and dad soon learn that if they do something, or act a certain way, or give something to child, they too are rewarded.

Where Philios Love said: "I will "love" you if" you do this or that, Storge says: "I will love you because I should love you." Again...as time progresses, and child gets older,and more independent, Storge tends to become more conditional in its fruition. It is a human love. That is, it does not "need" God to exist, but without God in the picture, being a human love...it will die.

How often, sadly, do we see a child rebel against his parents to the extent of bringing harm and shame on the parent? How often, sadly, have we seen parent abandon child and throw them out of the house..ban them from the family? That is Storge in its Death Throes. Conditions were not met, so child rebels, parent withdraws, and Storge Love, like Philios, entropys and dies. Unless Storge is nurtured by Philios, has some degree of Eros (which is not all sexual, by the way...we will get into that type of Love next), and cemented into place with the Supernatural Glue of Agape, it has no choice but to wither and die, like all things human. Storge, in and of itself, cannot weather the test of time. It is dependent on the other loves in conjunction with it to survive..especially Agape, as are all the human type of loves. When combined with the other Three Loves, Storge becomes permanent..a bond that cannot be broken or seperated, an Eternal Bond of Love between the lover and the beloved.

Unlike Philios at the outset, Storge Love will offer itself in Death if needs be to protect the beloved. It will not flee from danger, abandoning the beloved to harms way, and if nurtured by Philios, Eros, and Agape, it will remain that way for an Eternity.

Have you ever seen a parent and child, or a man and a woman in love that are best friends? They have Philios and Storge solidly in place. And, you can bet it is cemented in place with a touch of Eros to some degree, and the Unfailing Love of Agape. Theirs is a permanent love, a lasting friendship, in this life and beyond. It is Eternal. Isn't that what we are all seeking?

Agape Love



I can think of no better way to begin my dissertation on Agape Love, than to quote the Words of Holy Scripture:

"If I speak in human and angelic tongues but I do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of Prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;
if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but I do not have love,
I am nothing.

If I give away everything I own,
and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous,
It is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick tempered,
it does not brood over injury,
It does not rejoice over wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never fails.
If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing;
if tongues, they will cease;
if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.

For we know partially, and we prophesy partially,
But when the Perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child,
think as a child,
reason as a child;
When I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present, we see indistinctly,
as in a mirror,
but then face to face.

At present, I know partially;
then I shall know fully,
as I am fully known.

So faith, hope, love remain,
these three;
But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

The Apostle Paul gave to the world the most beautiful explanation on what love truly comprises. His words cannot be surpassed by any song, any love letter, any book, any poem, or any movie. His words are Eternal words, for they speak of God, and God's Love...Agape.

Agape Love is God's Love. It is Perfect, Total, Complete, Selfless, Undying, Unconditional, Eternal, and it is for all men, for all times. God is Love. And Love is Good. All things created by God are Good. Read the Creation accounts in Genesis; notice that after everything God did and made, "He saw that it was Good". Because God is Good, He cannot create Evil or wickedness. God's Goodness and Love are beauty Divine. Incomprehensible to our finite minds. Because God is God, and therefore, Infinite, and because we are men, and finite, there is no possible way that we can ever totally comprehend or grasp the concept of Agape. We only know what God has revealed to be True. There is no way any human being, wise and educated, can ever know all there is to know about God....and therefore, God's Love.

But we do know that God Created man in His own Image and Likeness. Truly, an act of Love. Why did God create man? Was He bored? Lonely? No. He created man simply because He is Love. That is God's job: He Loves to Love. God does not need man to exist; man needs Him to exist. God holds all of Creation in His Hands, and therefore we are totally dependent on Him to sustain our very being.

If you take a look at the Words of Scripture, and the teachings of the Church, you will notice over and over that God has revealed His identity to man. Though it is a mystery to us, and something we cannot possibly understand, God has revealed that He is Three Persons...yet One God: The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. In the Gospel of John, we learn that:

"In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things came to be through Him,
and without Him, nothing came to be.
What came to be through Him was life,
and this life was the light of the human race;
the light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness has not overcome it."

John 1: 1-5

The "Word" that John refers to is the only Son of God, Jesus Christ. Through Him, all things were made. The words of John are only one instance in reference to the Trinity...now we have the Father and the Son. God first revealed His Trinity Personage in Genesis, when He said "Let us make man in our image; after our likeness." (Gen 1:26). Christ taught the Apostles on numerous occasions that He would send His Spirit to be with them always, after He was gone. And, on Pentecost, He did just that. The Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles, though they were in a locked room, in the form of Tongues of Fire, and filled them...and from there, they went out and taught about Jesus to the world. Thus, now we have the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Three Persons; One God. All equal in Being; All Divine; All God.

Now, before I lose you and you wonder "why is this guy giving us a Theology lesson?", I did so for a reason. Because, to even begin to understand and grasp the concept of Agape Love, you need to have a basic understanding of the God who is Agape Love. The Trinity is a Perfect model for Agape. The Father begot (not made) the Son, The Father Loves the Son, the Son loves the Father. Their combined Love for each other begets the Holy Spirit. So we see, that the Trinity is the Perfect model of Love...Pure Love. That is Agape Love.

I hope that by now, you see the major difference between Agape Love and the other three loves. Philios, Storge and Eros are all "human" loves....Agape, however, is God's Love. Unlike a human love, Agape cannot die...for God cannot die. God is Eternal, and therefore, His Love is Eternal as well. Agape is also Perfect, it is Unconditional, it is Totally Forgiving. No human being that I am aware of, aside from Jesus Christ, had or has, or ever will have, the ability to love in this manner. How, then, can we as men taste of Agape? How can we possibly join our human loves to God's Love? We can't. But God can...and will...if we will let Him. God is the Author of Love. He knows how the story ends, because He wrote the Book on Love. And, if we trust Him, learn from Him, follow His teachings and His ways, then we too can share in His Agape Love...just as we too can share in His Eternal Life being finite men that one day must die.

When you have in place the elements of a loving and lasting relationship (Philios, Storge, and Eros), and combine, or allow in, Agape, you then have your love Eternally Bonded. And that is what God intended we do when He gave us the concept of Love. He meant for it to be Eternal. He meant for us to be with Him forever, and He meant that man and woman should become one...as He is One. But, He never intended that man and woman become one...and then seperate. That is absurd. If God intended man and woman to be One...don't you think He also intended that union to be Eternal? I do!. And, I believe that without God in the picture, that love is not love at all...it is merely a human emotion that turns to lust and confuses itself, and eventually fails and dies. It makes perfect sense to me to tap into the Divine plan for Love if you want to experience True Love. And, the only way to do that, is to come to know, LOVE, and Serve your God. When a man and a woman, such as Melissa and myself, share that common bond of Faith, then, Agape can do it's thing. A couple that prays together...stays together. Pretty simple.

We as humans can never completely know Agape in this life time, for we cannot completely know God in this lifetime. It is impossible. But, God knows us..each one of us...personally. And, He loves us...all of us..unconditionally, perfectly, totally, and undyingly. The major difference between Agape Love and all the others is this: Agape loves for loves sake. It expects no rewards, it wants nothing in return..except that love be given back to it. And the neat thing is that the more you give back to Agape, the MORE you receive in return. It is an unending well of strength and supply from which to draw, and if a couple can tap into this Well, their love will be an Eternal Love.